BULLYING! Now hopefully that caught your attention. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a victim of constant abuse whether it be physical or emotional? I’ve never experienced physical bullying so I can’t really give you lucid insight, or any insight at all for that matter, on what it is really like. I can, however, indulge your curiosity by taking you to my world. Alright, time to answer some inane questions. I am a girl. I’m 165cm tall (5”5). I naturally have dark brown/black hair but I recently dyed it red. My irises are dark brown. I like my features. What I don’t like is my skin. Acne. Don’t we all just love us a sappy story about a teenage girl who gets bullied? Keep reading...it gets more interesting. I can assure you of that.
Want to know the more enticing factors of my life? I used to cut myself. I’ve been dependent on alcohol. I used to have bulimia. I JUST got over anorexia - anorexia is not a look, it’s a state of mind. I’ve tried killing myself - multiple times. Not as a cry for help but actually wanted to be dead. I guess that is a good thing to be bad at. And last but not least, I have bipolar disorder NOS (or so people seem to think - I’m still “young” so nothing is set in stone just as yet). Now hold on a second, it sounds like I’m endorsing all these habits by calling them enticing. Let me rephrase. Enticing yet HORRIBLE factors of my life.
Now that you know that about me. I can tell you about my personality. I’m a person who tends to “polarise” people (I believe that is the term my friend used). I don’t not agree with her (see what I did there? - double negatives are fun). It is more or less true. People either love me or hate me. I’m an intense person and I mean INTENSE! I see someone in pain and my heart literally starts hurting - no joke (you may think that just because I’m some silly teenager that I am exaggerating, but I can assure you I am not). Whatever feeling I’m feeling, I’m feeling it at 110%. No, that has nothing to do with bipolar. That kicks my feeling so it’s around 1000% (okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating here but you get the general idea). And for those of you who don’t know what bipolar disorder is, it’s a mood disorder. You want to know more about it? Google it because I’m not saying anymore on it. This article is about bullying, not bipolar disorder. By the way, the last thing I want this article coming off as is ‘woe is me’.
Being the kind of person I am, I get bullied a lot. People who don’t know me, hate me. People who truly know me, love me - or close enough; at least that is what they tell me. It’s as simple as that (that latter sentence was kind of random wasn’t it? In my defence, I’m writing whatever comes to mind). Moving on...let us get back on track. Where were we? Oh right! Got it! Bullying! And I don’t say that enthusiastically. People tend to pass around rude remarks. Everyone does it; it’s human nature. What isn’t human nature is to incessantly insult someone. My definition of bullying? Constant insults directed at one person by another person or a community. The insulting can be done either physically or emotionally. In my day and age, and community, the most common tactic used is cyber bullying.
Cyber bullying. All the less impersonal, all the more accessible, a 100% guarantee in inflicting pain or your money back. Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, God-knows-what-else; cyber bullying has become easier. On the bright side...EVIDENCE! If someone is repeatedly hurting you, SCREENSHOT IT! Save it in a folder and when you think there is plenty of evidence that someone or some people are bullying you, take it to a higher authority. A.K.A. your parents, or the school, or both. Some people might use the term ‘tattle-tale’ for this procedure. Obviously, they haven’t been bullied before. Don’t listen to those people. Do what is best for you. And take it from me, you don’t want to fight fire with fire. Insulting your bully back will make it worse for you and will ultimately make yourself a bully. We don’t want that now do we? I was working on my SAT essay and I felt so stupid that it had never occurred to me before. Fighting fire with fire just creates more fire. However, fighting fire with water, will get you results. Because guess what? Water puts out fire - if that wasn’t obvious enough.
In my old school, my close friend came up with this demeaning name for me but that was supposed to be just for fun. He and his friends then edited a photo for me and wrote that nickname on the photo along with a hitler mustache. I tried calling my close friend but I couldn’t reach him. So I called his house phone. His mum answered and I asked his mum to ask him to take it down. I explained to her that I wasn’t angry or anything but I just wanted it down. So his mum called him up while he was out with his friends and told him about our conversation. He was a little irked that I hadn’t gone straight to him, and I understand that - no excuses here, I should have waited and talked to him in person. Out of the friends he was hanging out with when his mum gave him that call was a girl named...let’s call her...Julia (real names will not be used as to protect the persons identity - like a superhero!!! Actually....more like a villain). Julia went home and posted that picture on her Facebook wall. The caption went something along the lines of this: “You pathetic girl. You think you can get rid of this picture by just a phone call? Well you can’t.” And that is all how it more or less started.
I talked to her nicely thrice but she gave me no choice other than to go to the school. I e-mailed the school telling them what she had done and they had a ‘talk’ with her. Well it was a pretty lax talk because nothing happened and the bullying just got worse. Her friends started pouncing on me saying that I could have gotten Julia into a lot of trouble. Oh, and did I tell you about this conversation between Julia and I? Let me just copy and paste some of the stuff she said to me.
[Julia Tassles]Report · 7:43pmuhm noyou wouldn't suit the colour i'm wearingcause its really lightand light colours make you look fat, whicjh you don't needyou need to wear black!cause its a slimming colout.*colour
[Julia Tassles]Report · 7:44pmyeah (:nevermindi'll be looking forward to seeing you at prom, looking uglier than ever ;);)
[Julia Tassles]Report · 8:01pmokayso1) lose weighta lot of weightespecially on your legs and bum2) don't dress so weirdly3) don't wear weird ass make up4) stop trying to be popular cause you never will be5) learn that the people in your grade, like liona and stuff, don't like you, they just make fun of youthey laugh at you, not wiht yo.
[Julia Tassles]Report · 8:05pmyou crying yet ?
I believe that is the night I slit my wrist. Thankfully it wasn’t deep enough to cause any serious damage...physically that is. My family was distraught, dejected, and devastated (I like alliteration - sorry, just trying to prevent this from getting too serious). Did you know that committing suicide in China is against the law. Don’t believe me? On another occasion when I overdosed on antibiotics (the first medicine I grabbed out of the drawer), the police came to investigate. Thankfully my dad’s secretary managed to avert the situation. Don’t ask me how, I’m just grateful that she did. Because if she hadn’t succeeded in doing so, there was a high possibility that I would have been deported from the country. My dad and mum would have had to take a job elsewhere. My sister and my education would have been uprooted. But no need to dwell on such dire measures. Just keep that in mind though. Killing yourself is not as easy as it seems, trust me on that one.
I could go on and on about all the bullying incidents that have happened to me but I don’t want to bore you. But before I do that, I should probably elaborate on how bad the bullying was because right now it just sounds like I’m whining about nothing. People used to walk past me in the corridor and say things like:
- “Welcome to my site, 123pornoreya.com.”
- “Call 123456 for a good time.”
- “She’s so fat and ugly that she has to pay guys for sex.”
- “I saw your porno last night. I should not have eaten right before. Threw up everywhere.”
- “Ewww.”
That is more or less what people used to say. I don’t remember the exact words because it was a while ago.
Needless to say, bullying is NOT a fun experience. It isn’t the source of all my issues mentioned in the second paragraph, but it hasn’t exactly helped the situation either. Honestly, I could probably write a book about this, and maybe I will someday - who knows. But as of now, this is an article about a personal experience...a few personal experiences - anecdote’s if you will. I honestly don’t know what you could have gotten out of this, but I felt like writing it and so I did. I have, however, included some useful information. Oh...one thing I forgot to mention. When you want to kill yourself, think of the person you love most in this world and imagine what it would do to her/him (her before him - feminism all the way :P). In my case, I think of my sister. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with suicidal thoughts, but here’s a tactic. The reason I am mentioning suicide is because bullying often leads to suicide.
Teachers: I know you’re mostly out of the loop on the children’s personal lives but if you see any signs of depression (wearing darker clothes, not handing in homework, greasier hair due to showering less often, dark circles, introversion), talk to the student. And if bullying is the cause of that, you have to understand that bullies bully for a reason. They have their own personal issues and insecurities too (for example, Julia probably called me fat because she was insecure about her weight). There should be repercussions as to what they have done, don’t get me wrong. But along with that, you could probably suggest counseling.
Parents: there is the old saying that ‘kids will be kids’, but take that with a grain of salt. If your kid ever comes to you, the last thing you want to do is push them away. In doing so, you convince your kid that you think their problems are nothing of significance.
Friends: stick up for your friend! Watching a crime being done and being silent about it is just as bad, if not worse than performing the actual crime. I understand that you wouldn’t want to be bullied but there is power in numbers.
You, yes you. The one being bullied: I’m sorry, hun. I wouldn’t even wish bullying upon my bullies. But you know what? It made me stronger. These bullies, do you respect them(rhetorical question - teehee)? Why care about what they say then? If you don’t respect them, then their opinions shouldn’t matter to you. I know telling you to ‘stay strong’ is easier said than done - I of all people would know - but it can be done! Lean on people you love if you have to. It’s not fair that you have to stay strong the entire process. There are people out there who love you. Don’t take them for granted but realise that they’re there to help and support you.
Bullies: calling someone ugly, isn’t going to make you any prettier. Calling someone fat, isn’t going to make you any thinner. Calling someone stupid, isn’t going to make you any smarter. Putting someone down, isn’t going to make you any better of a person.
Nevertheless, there IS hope. I’m 18 and have graduated. I’m going to an AMAZING university - frankly, I’m surprised they accepted me with my less-than-pleasing GPA. I don’t have JUST friends. I have friends who are family. I’ve told them that they ruined the definition of friendship for me because they made it mean a whole lot more. I’m in a good place and am happy for the most part - everyone has ups and downs.
Here is me trying to reach out to you people. Hopefully I have. Hopefully.
