Birthday Blues

I WAS looking forward to my 18th birthday (which is tomorrow - May 28th). But then I remembered last year's birthday and now just want to skip over the whole celebratory shenanigans because it's all bullshit - at least when it comes to mine.

I gave gifts to all my friends for pretty much all occasions - birthdays, friendship day, valentines day, christmas, when I travelled abroad. Don't get me wrong...I give gifts to people because the smile on their faces when they give gifts lights me up. I would, however, wouldn't mind if I got something in return. You know what I mean? Even a hug would make me happy.

Last year, I was the one who made cupcakes on my birthday and handed them around to everyone. I've learnt that the only way I'm going to get to eat cake on my birthday or something with my friends is if I'm the one who bakes it. On top of that, I went to see my friends during break. I said hi. They said a quick happy birthday and then returned to their previous conversations. I had asked if they were free to celebrate my birthday, they said no. Instead, they had gone to the cinema to see The Avengers - without me. They say they hadn't, and maybe they hadn't. Maybe they went to see it another weekend. Point is....well....I'm pretty sure I don't have to point it out.

You know what's really sad? I'm desperately trying to hold onto friendships that some people couldn't care less about.

I'm hoping things in college will change....they WILL change. I'm not going to let a person tell me to shut up about my dating life "because it makes everyone uncomfortable" and then have that same person to go on to talk about her sex life - like WTF?

Wish me luck for tomorrow. My sister would be at school and m parents at work - so hopefully I can just sleep most of the day away.

I do, however, look forward to Facebook posts from my best friends all over the world. That'll make my day.