Why The Bleep Do We Do These Bleeping Things?

I was on Facebook today (surprised?!) and these pictures of these girls kept popping up on my news feed. What all these pictures had in common were the notorious duck faces. This got me thinking about a whole bunch of stuff I don't understand about girls (some of which I do myself).

1. WTF is up with duck faces? How on earth could you possibly think that it's even remotely attractive? And if you are, in fact, trying to look like an idiot, can you not come up with something more original?
2. Why do we have to go to the bathroom together?
3. Why do you need to cake your face for school every single day? Why straighten/curl your hair every single day?
4. Why do you stuff your bra? Boobs are boobs. Imagine you're dating this guy, he talks about how big his dick is, and you get really excited. You're about to have sex, and when the clothes come off, there isn't anything magical about his dingdong. So obviously, you'll be a bit disappointed. You were expecting one thing, and you got something else. I assume the same concept applies to guys and boobs.
5. Why do you have to dress up when you're going to the airport, the doctor's office, or even grocery shopping? 
6. Why do you post pictures up and say you look ugly in it? If that's the case, why the fuck would you put it up in the first place?
7. Why do we put so much perfume on? Sure, we want to smell nice, but all we end up doing is suffocating the poor guy who is forced to inhale flavoured liquid.
8. Why do we enjoy bitching about everything single fucking thing? OMG. That waitress was totally staring at my boyfriend. OMG. My nail broke. OMG. I swear, the lady who is giving me an oil massage is totally feeling me up.
9. Why do we complain about thongs riding up our asses when we were the ones who decided to put it on in the first place?
10. When someone (especially a guy) asks you about a sport, why do you say that you thoroughly know it and you are in love with the game just because you know the name of one of the athletes (sometimes even without knowing the face)?

I could go on, and on, and on. I'm not saying that all girls do all of that. I'm not saying that I don't do any of that. If anyone has any RATIONAL answers, I'd love to hear from you.